after calling a Patient Care Advocate to tell her about why I've been explaining for the last 5 months that I never plan to return to that provider.

Yesterday after the bat mitzvah, Becca and Bill and I went to a nearby nature center and then later walked around a tiny Lake and there were some geese that were advancing on us and hissing. And I sent a friend a video. And he sent back, they are known to be assholes, and how are you doing today.

Well my aspiration for the day was that I would go up to the mall and help maydaymovement take their tents down, then get to Acro, then get to the party part of yesterday's bat mitzva, then get to Fusion.


As it is, I've been up for a couple of hours and haven't really wasted it but haven't gotten out and I'm still not moving quickly.

And I'm finding that I wake up and just everything hurts. Not much, but enough that it's like oh was I doing some sort of interesting exercise and the answer is no.

And I'm finding that kind of frightening. It may well just be perimenopause or the fact that I really desperately need a new mattress but I'm really not sure what to make of it.


I'm flying to Missouri on the 29th and I feel bad cuz that means I'm going to miss covert 30 years in government thing, and I'm realizing that I now have appointments this week and next week and the week after which means obviously I'm not driving to Cleveland and I can't go to Cleveland when I get back from Missouri because part of my timing for Missouri being what it is so I have time to do the last minute oh my God on the apartment.

And I'd like to write something about the movie I saw the other day, join or die, which turns out to be a documentary on bowling alone

And I realized I haven't told my building about hey we had a whole SUV worth of stuff we sent to Martha's table

And so now I'm torn between sitting at the computer and trying to write something or trying to get myself out the door to be helpful and then off to Acro and of course I also need to figure out what I'd be wearing for the kids K-pop party that hopefully I can get out of earlier but maybe I won't mind and then the question is do I still get to fusion.

And I'm feeling more and more isolated. And I know it's all my fault. It's a happy thing that Ken is with someone and they will probably marry but that means he's a lot more time in Pennsylvania and will eventually move their entirely, and it's a happy thing that Covert and Kerry more back together but for a lot of years any travel I've done has been tagging along with Covert.

Etc.

But yesterday was a good day and I'll get to see a lot of the same people again today.

I'm probably feeling some after-effects from having to get up a lot earlier than one would want in order to make it to the bot mitzvah on time

There's a ton of additional context I could be adding to just about all of this. Like conversations yesterday with different fed friends, more about what they're trying to do to retirement, a conversation with someone who does Thai massage out in Idaho in some incredibly expensive ski resort where it was impressive just how many names he dropped in a couple of minutes, and he explained that he hasn't read news in years and I think I may have shook him a little bit with my relatively short summary that didn't even include anything about due process.

There's the bit where I guess I was salting the vibes. I was for a little bit the one person wearing a mask (I had it first walked in and figured it was a high ceiling and not all that many people, but of course I was at the very beginning of services and in short order several different people around me started coughing or sniffling so I did put my already chosen to go with the outfit mask on. And when I walked up to do my reading, I very deliberately did not take it off until I was in front of the lectern, and on video. I know some people would argue on that one, but near versus far field is indeed relevant, and for me some of all this is a benefit calculation. I don't see a ton of benefit to not masking while I'm just sitting there for several hours.). My friend Becca ended up adding a mask later on in the service as it turns out. I was highly amused that my realization she was there was first recognizing her voice then thinking she looked familiar and then looking at the program. Which tells you just about everything you need to know about how faceblind I am.


One of the things I really want to get back to about Join or Die, the Putnam biopic ( Which is fun, impressively so, much the way The Big Short takes what could be a very dry topic and intersperses images and vignettes that make it not so) . Is the early part, about italy. Now when I saw the blurb about the movie night at glow house, I later ended up saying to someone I'm about to watch a movie that's kind of like bowling alone but isn't. I had no idea that in fact I was about to match watch a movie about bowling alone, but it's not only about bowling alone and I actually haven't read bowling alone

So I don't know whether bowling alone spends a lot of time on how interpersonal engagement (Social Capital) is predictive of government effectiveness. But that's what they first started seeing when they were watching Italy when Italy suddenly created like 20 identical regional governments, and some of them turned into dumpster fires and some of them people liked and seem to be effective.

Some of that seems to be a matter of trust and just connection, and some of it is also that if you've got a bunch of people who have had to run their choir or their book club or their rotary they are also getting training and how to do something useful for more of a formal government.

. I've got a lot more I'm thinking about around all these, including some stuff I was listening to from some book whose name I have now forgotten unfortunately, where we especially started losing third spaces and nowadays very few people have to ever deal with anybody they disagree with except for family.

And here I am lamenting not having gotten out to be useful for the mayday move, but instead I'm dictating to dream with.

And I owe someone a text, but it was a long text I want to reply to which makes it harder to reply and one of the things that still needs to happen is why does my main computer not really want to talk to the internet and I bought a new tiny keyboard and I still haven't connected it to the phone. And the phone is absolutely full and I downloaded a lot of stuff yesterday so that I could unfull it. And then I took more pictures so I have to do it again.

And I kind of want to nap. Which helps nothing of my day. And I should not need more sleep.

Oh.
And one more thing: I'm realizing that if I was kind of sort of conflating due process and habeas corpus a whole lot more people might be: Michael Cohen had an essay that made me realize my brain had been shorthanding: https://bsky.app/profile/vvalkyri.bsky.social/post/3lovq4ykwl22x


All right. Somehow I need to work out when I'm wearing later tonight and put something on for acro and I guess I can change in an undress, and I guess I can wander over to Union Station first to see whether they need any help.

There's also additional context about why it's kind of frightening to be wondering why I'm stiff, but that's definitely for some other time.