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Afternoon group therapy. Dr. Barnes begins with the announcement that Joe is ready to transition to the outside world. “Joe was Unit Leader last spring, and he has remained involved in everybody’s progress. We had some serious mountains to climb, didn’t we, guy? Hey, there were times when you carried a black cloud over your head everywhere you went. Thought you hated us, hated this place, and hated the man in the mirror the most. But I hope you’re proud of what you’ve accomplished. We’re proud of you. C’mon, bring it in!”

Joe steps forward somewhat awkwardly and Barnes embraces him and administers a couple fist-pounds to the back.

Dr. Barnes congratulates some other people who are being advanced to a higher level and comments on various people’s progress. In due course he comes to me.

“In Derek’s situation, we’ve seen the arrival of a critical juncture, a sort of climactic moment after several days of tension and buildup. First, there was his stated dismissal of my qualifications, and I think along with that, his disbelief that this community had anything to offer him. A stance that upset me, as you all saw, because I really believe that we do. Then he listened as we made our case for Elk Meadow being worth a gamble, and to his great credit he set aside his cynicism and disbelief and opted for a new beginning. That takes courage, and we should all applaud him for that.” I get my applause.

Dr. Barnes continues, “Now, Derek, I want to ask you to consider something. On your door, you have those handmade posters or whatever you call them. I don’t think I’m being unfair if I describe those as coming from a position of suspicion and distrust. That doesn’t mean you didn’t have any legitimate reason to express that, but as you have heard, they have felt to many of the other residents as a hostile attack on them, and a pushing away of the community. If we’re truly to start fresh and begin again with each other, perhaps they don’t need to remain on your door.”

Annoying. I’m not seeing a noticeable shift in the institution’s behavior. I get reintroduced as Dr. Barnes’ protégé, but immediately I’m asked for concessions. Still, everyone has seen and read what’s on my door, so they’ve accomplished their original goal. At this point keeping them up is akin to keeping a brand going, and I suppose I can’t expect unilateral changes. And I could choose to go first. Dr. Barnes and his staff should know by now that I’m not going to drink any cult leader Kool-Aid no matter what.

I take the materials down from my door before I go to bed that night.

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My first book, GenderQueer: A Story From a Different Closet, is published by Sunstone Press. It is available on Amazon and Barnes & Noble in paperback, hardback, and ebook, and as ebook only from Apple, Kobo, and directly from Sunstone Press themselves.

My second book, That Guy in Our Women's Studies Class, has also now been published by Sunstone Press. It's a sequel to GenderQueer. It is available on Amazon and on Barnes & Noble in paperback and ebook, and as ebook only from Apple, Kobo, and directly from Sunstone Press themselves.

Links to published reviews and comments are listed on my Home Page, for both published books.

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This DreamWidth blog is echoed on Substack and LiveJournal. Please friend/link me from any of those environments on which you have an account.

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